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This year represents a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” entered the common lexicon. At the time, the idea that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the peak of indignity. How naive we were. In the decade since, finding a mate has only become more confounding – an frequently unsuccessful pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by social media lingo.

Zoomers, a demographic who came of age during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a coordinated attack on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their Gen Y predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown longer and more deranged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a detailed guide to the words Zoomers is using to discuss love, sex and the search of both. To echo one of the year’s most enduring memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Realness – According to Zoomers, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your real, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon inspired by a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your date's reply is engaged or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while oozing enigma and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This refers to choosing someone who aids you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people bond while doing chores, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do affordable romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a crush or breakup, dumping all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie excess, it describes partners who forgo parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of being guarded: practicing dialogue, transparency and openness.

F

Signals

• Warning signs – Personal traits indicating a prospective partner is bad news. For instance calling their former partners unstable, bad gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits validate your decision to date a partner. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These usually describe niche, largely benign idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their bag, paying the rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who despises the same stuff or people that you do (nothing creates intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women's increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Random and frequently trivial turnoffs that instantly extinguish any sense of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an incredibly sweet display.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the era of locking lips may be limited since some gen Z want fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance authentic.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {